


i'm yours

by smittentj



Category: Andi Mack (TV)
Genre: Boys In Love, How Do I Tag, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Insecure TJ, M/M, Sunrises, TJ's past, We love our boys, can this hiatus just...not, i need my boys back, i'm yours by alessia cara, im just trying to get through the holidays, im sorry, literally half my fics are based on songs, loving cyrus, reflections, smitten tj (omg that's my username), they're so in love, this does not do them justice but alas, tj is so grateful, you get a tyrus you get a tyrus everyone gets a tyrus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-21
Updated: 2019-03-21
Packaged: 2019-11-26 16:02:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18182726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smittentj/pseuds/smittentj
Summary: "After so much time spent being terrified, he was finally free. He was happy, sitting on this pier, watching this beautiful mess of colors seep into the sky, the love of his life resting against him. As he stared at Cyrus, the boy's eyes like honey, he felt truly alive."





	i'm yours

**Author's Note:**

> Hi thank you for coming to my ted talk please enjoy

𝙨𝙤𝙢𝙚 𝙣𝙚𝙧𝙫𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚  
𝙩𝙤 𝙗𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙠 𝙪𝙥 𝙢𝙮 𝙡𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙡𝙮  
𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙩𝙚𝙡𝙡 𝙢𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙢𝙚  
𝙝𝙤𝙬 𝙙𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙢𝙖𝙧𝙘𝙝 𝙞𝙣𝙩𝙤 𝙢𝙮 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙩

They sat at the end of a pier, staring into the water beneath them as if it held every secret that had ever slipped into the air around them. Their legs dangled from the edge, tangled with one another. As the sun floated over the horizon, they found themselves staring at each other more than at the soft aurora in the distance. One of them, a blonde, couldn’t get his gemstone eyes to part from the other, watching as the corners of his mouth turned up in awe of the rising sun.

He was beautiful. He was more than beautiful. TJ couldn’t think of one reason that this boy could possibly be from the same lousy planet as he was. He was too beautiful, too sweet, too divine for that to be even imaginable. 

How did he get there? Obviously not to earth, of course. How did he get 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦? There, right next to TJ, head on the blonde’s shoulder, legs entwined with his. How did he manage to forgive all the mistakes TJ had made, to push aside all his troubles and to just be there? 

How did he manage to get TJ to fall for him, to let him in? TJ, the boy who had refused for his entire life to really, truly feel for someone. TJ, who had pushed his favorite people, the people he actually liked, away, because he was scared of them leaving him. TJ, who had literally bullied people rather than becoming close with someone who was sure to hurt him. TJ, who was over-the-moon, head-over-heels in love with this boy, who had simply walked in and ended every one of TJ’s survival tactics. 

How dare him. How dare him for making TJ love him. How dare him for being so, so sickeningly cute, so forgiving, so accepting. Disgusting. Except, the blonde was in love with every one of these concepts. Only when they were within the boy next to him, of course. 

How dare him for breaking down the athlete’s walls with his giant, chocolate doe eyes. With his breathtaking angel smile. With his adorable little sayings and phrases that would easily make any human on earth melt in seconds. How dare him for being the kindest person TJ had ever met in his entire life. 

How dare him for being the love of TJ’s life. 

𝙤𝙝 𝙝𝙤𝙬 𝙧𝙪𝙙𝙚 𝙤𝙛 𝙮𝙤𝙪  
𝙩𝙤 𝙧𝙪𝙞𝙣 𝙢𝙮 𝙢𝙞𝙨𝙚𝙧𝙖𝙗𝙡𝙚  
𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙩𝙚𝙡𝙡 𝙢𝙚 𝙞’𝙢 𝙗𝙚𝙖𝙪𝙩𝙞𝙛𝙪𝙡  
‘𝙘𝙖𝙪𝙨𝙚 𝙞 𝙬𝙖𝙨𝙣’𝙩 𝙡𝙤𝙤𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙣𝙤

This boy came in when TJ needed it most. He showed up suddenly, almost as if he had just crashed into TJ’s life. One day, the blonde was moping around every day. The next, he started to find himself at the swings whenever he could, hoping to find the boy from the park. 𝘊𝘺𝘳𝘶𝘴, he had learned. “Cyrus” was an adorable name for a person to have. Of course, TJ called him “Underdog”.

The boy seemed to know when TJ needed him most. He was always there to tell the blonde everything would be okay, or to just sit there, wrap him in a hug, and be right where TJ needed him to be. He was there to tell TJ 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦’𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘺𝘰𝘶. He was there when TJ thought the boy was done with him. He was there when TJ became better, when he made mistakes, when he started to say the words “I’m sorry” after making them, when he began opening up to people. 

Cyrus was there for every moment since things started getting better. The athlete hadn’t been looking for anything. He did wish for something, although he would never admit it. 

It was getting bad when the brunette walked in. TJ had just found out about his dyscalculia, his parents were struggling to keep the small apartament they were living in, and there was a 𝘨𝘪𝘳𝘭 who had just joined the basketball team, and was already proving she was better than him. He felt stupid, felt anxious, felt defeated. 

He had never felt attractive, not once in his life. His family was a beautiful, picture perfect example of everything people in society were expected to look like. His sister looked like an angel, or some kind of goddess. His mom was gorgeous, almost ethereal, and was unbelievably kind. His dad was a mess, but was also unbearably stunning, according to the standards of america. He was...well, he was just 𝘛𝘑. 

He didn’t feel beautiful, didn’t feel anything more than average. And, he would never admit it, but it hurt. It hurt looking in the mirror and seeing only imperfection. He tried, he tried 𝘴𝘰 𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘥 to be the person everyone wanted him to be. He just didn’t feel good enough or attractive enough or smart enough to be that person.

The blonde wanted so badly to be thought of as beautiful, to be thought of as angelic. At the same time, though, he was scared of being those things; at least, to someone else. He was scared of falling, scared of being beautiful in the eyes of someone who he could hurt, someone who could hurt him. He couldn’t even picture someone feeling anything other than annoyance towards him, anything more than indifference. 

Everything changed the moment Cyrus walked into his life. He made it his mission to make the blonde feel beautiful, strong, loved, smart. Even before the dates, before the confession, before the coming out, he was the one who made TJ feel worth something. He complimented the boy endlessly, comforted him, and somehow broke down his walls; those walls had been built up for fourteen years, growing more by the day. He broke them within seconds. 

“You’re beautiful.” the basketball player turned his head at the whispered words, staring into the other boy’s doe eyes. There was a small breeze flowing in the air of the pier, sneaking into Cyrus’ brown hair and messing with the strands. The sun glowed in his eyes, the honey within them a shining gold and amber. 

TJ ducked his head shyly, trying to hide the dusty pink that had fallen on his cheeks. 𝘏𝘰𝘸 𝘥𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘣𝘰𝘺. TJ knew the other boy was well aware of the effect that those words had on him, was well aware that he hadn’t heard those words very often, that he was always expected to be manly rather than get flustered. Cyrus was the one who had taught him that it was okay to be shy, okay to be in love. 

“Stop,” he whined, an almost permanent smile etched on his lips as he attempted to cover the flustered blush on his face. 

“It’s true.” 𝘎𝘰𝘰𝘥𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴, 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘣𝘰𝘺 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘨𝘰𝘯𝘯𝘢 𝘬𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘩𝘪𝘮 𝘪𝘧 𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘴𝘯’𝘵 𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘧𝘶𝘭.

𝙣𝙤𝙗𝙤𝙙𝙮 𝙖𝙨𝙠𝙚𝙙 𝙩𝙤 𝙜𝙚𝙩 𝙢𝙚 𝙖𝙩𝙩𝙖𝙘𝙝𝙚𝙙 𝙩𝙤 𝙮𝙤𝙪  
𝙞𝙣 𝙛𝙖𝙘𝙩, 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙩𝙧𝙞𝙘𝙠𝙚𝙙 𝙢𝙚  
𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙞 𝙬𝙖𝙨𝙣’𝙩 𝙩𝙧𝙮𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙤 𝙛𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙞𝙣 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚  
𝙗𝙪𝙩, 𝙗𝙤𝙮, 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙥𝙪𝙨𝙝𝙚𝙙 𝙢𝙚

Cyrus caught him off guard. The moment he walked in, the blonde knew something was different about the boy. He was kind, he was loving, he was absolutely gorgeous; TJ had never seen anything like him. It was almost like fell at first glance, like the boy had come with a plan, a scheme to convince him to fall in love. It worked, needless to say. 

TJ tried to push the boy away, he tried so hard. He snapped at the brunette, he lashed out, he made countless mistakes that would have been considered unforgivable by anyone else. It seemed like regardless of how many horrible things he said or did to push Cyrus away, the boy would come back, would squeeze himself back into TJ’s life. At one point, he stopped pushing. 

It wasn’t TJ’s fault that he gave in; no, the brown-eyed, angelic trickster was to blame. With a face like that, lips like those, a soul like the one he had, it had to be impossible not to fall for him. He had gorgeous features that made it hard to believe he was human, had kindness, forgiveness, sweetness, that made him seem more endearing than even an angel could be. How could someone not fall for him? He was the closest thing to perfect that TJ had ever laid his green eyes on.

𝙨𝙤 𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙞’𝙢 𝙖𝙨𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙜  
𝙞𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙙𝙡𝙚 𝙢𝙚 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙘𝙖𝙪𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣  
‘𝙘𝙖𝙪𝙨𝙚 𝙞 𝙙𝙤𝙣’𝙩 𝙜𝙞𝙫𝙚 𝙢𝙮𝙨𝙚𝙡𝙛 𝙤𝙛𝙩𝙚𝙣  
𝙗𝙪𝙩 𝙞 𝙜𝙪𝙚𝙨𝙨 𝙞’𝙡𝙡 𝙩𝙧𝙮 𝙩𝙤𝙙𝙖𝙮

TJ had always been afraid of letting his guard down for someone, of letting himself simply be with someone. Somehow, Cyrus managed to brush past the shadows he hid himself within just moments after they met. And, somehow, out of all the people the athlete had ever met in all his years of being, Cyrus was the first person he had ever felt truly safe around. He never felt like he had to ask the boy to be gentle with him, and to love him, because the brunette had only ever done that. It was like he simply looked at Cyrus and thought, “Wow. I’m home.”

Now, as the boy hung his long legs from the pier, the love of his life by his side, he knew everything that had happened had simply been leading up to this moment. Finally, he was ready to give it a try. He stared down at the boy of his dreams, smiling as he met the boy’s big eyes. 

“You’re safe with me, you know,” the brunette said softly, the words falling from his full lips as if he had read TJ’s mind. It was crazy how he did that, read the blonde like his favorite novel. The athlete was glad Cyrus cared so much about making him feel loved. The affection and honesty the boy showed him was like something out of a romance movie. 

“I know, I’m just not used to feeling this way.” Cyrus turned his head up, kissing the blonde’s jaw softly. 

“You’ll get used to it. I’m not going anywhere, love.” 𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘪𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘴. 𝘛𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘥. How did he know everything that caused TJ to fall harder? It wasn’t fair that he knew the athlete so well. 

‘𝙘𝙖𝙪𝙨𝙚 𝙞’𝙫𝙚 𝙝𝙖𝙙 𝙢𝙮 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙩  
𝙗𝙧𝙤𝙠𝙚𝙣 𝙗𝙚𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙚  
𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙞 𝙥𝙧𝙤𝙢𝙞𝙨𝙚𝙙 𝙞 𝙬𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙 𝙣𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙡𝙚𝙩 𝙢𝙚 𝙝𝙪𝙧𝙩 𝙖𝙣𝙮𝙢𝙤𝙧𝙚  
𝙗𝙪𝙩 𝙞 𝙩𝙤𝙧𝙚 𝙙𝙤𝙬𝙣 𝙢𝙮 𝙬𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙨  
𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙤𝙥𝙚𝙣𝙚𝙙 𝙢𝙮 𝙙𝙤𝙤𝙧𝙨  
𝙨𝙤, 𝙗𝙖𝙗𝙮 𝙞’𝙢 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧𝙨  
𝙤𝙝 𝙗𝙖𝙗𝙮 𝙞’𝙢 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧𝙨

TJ’s dad had left a type of heartbreak that the boy had never quite gotten over. The abuse, the words, the slurs, and then the absence. All the athlete ever heard from him was, “be a man,” and, “you’ll never be as strong as the real men in the family”. He never recovered from the nightmares, the flashbacks, the days when his mother was so obviously still hurt by everything that had happened. 

From the moment the man had disappeared from his son’s life, TJ had done everything in his power to shield himself from ever feeling that type of pain again. He withdrew from the people he had once spent all his time with, closed himself off to his peers and classmates. Mr. Kippen left without saying goodbye; TJ was scared to death that everyone else would do the same thing. 

Cyrus had simply walked into the jock’s life, taken off his shoes, and nailed the door shut. There was never another moment in which TJ had wished more for someone to stay with him permanently. 

The brunette’s goal was always to give TJ the love and the affection that he had missed out on all his life. With every moment the athlete spent next to Cyrus, it was like he could feel his heart being mended, his doubts fading away like scars over time. Every moment, he could feel himself falling deeper into the waters of adoration, rising higher in the sky that was hope. The farther gone he became for the other boy, the more comfort and love he felt in all aspects of his life. 

Time passed, and Cyrus was still in the blonde’s life, sitting on that pier as the sun came up. Their hands were intertwined, a grip so comforting and so tight that it seemed they would never be able to let go. 

𝙞’𝙢 𝙢𝙖𝙙 𝙖𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪  
𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙗𝙚𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙨𝙤 𝙘𝙪𝙩𝙚  
𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙢𝙮 𝙢𝙤𝙤𝙙  
𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙖𝙡𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙢𝙮 𝙧𝙪𝙙𝙚

TJ was a bully before he met Cyrus. He was closed off, aggressive, cocky, mean. He didn’t accept the concept of anyone being better than him, especially not a 𝘨𝘪𝘳𝘭. He drew a wall around him, terrified that someone would break it down, only to shove the bricks on top of him. The athlete didn’t have many friends; most of them were basketball friends, or were only there because of their fear of him. The brunette was his first real friend, his first real 𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨.

They met because of their common ground: a bad day. TJ had stormed out of a session with his tutor, Cyrus had suffered from a panic attack. The smaller boy retreated to his safe haven, the swings. TJ had seen him on his way home from the school, and felt a pull almost dragging him to talk to the boy. As he neared the swingset of the park, his ears had picked up a small song falling from the young brunette’s lips. He found it adorable. He stepped closer, his nerves picking up as he realized how genuinely pure and beautiful the boy was.

They spoke, and TJ fell. He hadn’t known what the feeling was, only that the boy’s eyes felt like a home to him, something he hadn’t been able to place in a long time. He knew only the boy’s eyes, his giggle, the kindness he expressed regardless of TJ’s reputation. Immediately, the blonde felt an overwhelming urge to be a better person for the boy. It was a strange urge; he hardly knew the brunette. And yet, he could feel his cold act melting away. 

For once in his life, TJ felt himself becoming happy. The sensation of things finally getting better only strengthened with every interaction between him and Cyrus. His tough exterior was gradually falling away to the eyes of the outside world, but seemed to never have existed around the doe-eyed boy. 𝘐𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘴𝘯’𝘵 𝘛𝘑’𝘴 𝘧𝘢𝘶𝘭𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘰𝘺 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘴𝘰 𝘤𝘶𝘵𝘦!

𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩’𝙨 𝙬𝙧𝙤𝙣𝙜 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙮𝙤𝙪  
𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙢𝙖𝙠𝙚 𝙢𝙚 𝙨𝙞𝙘𝙠 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙗𝙚𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙨𝙤 𝙥𝙚𝙧𝙛𝙚𝙘𝙩  
𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙙𝙞𝙙 𝙞 𝙙𝙤  
𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙘𝙖𝙣 𝙞 𝙙𝙤, 𝙤𝙝

It baffled the blonde that someone could be so close to perfect. He had never met, never even seen someone even close to the level of beauty he saw in Cyrus. The boy was pulchritudinous. His chocolate brown hair shined in any light, his honey eyes sparkled in the rays of the sun. His lips seemed to be permanently pursed, so soft that they felt like heaven when they found their way onto TJ’s own. His smile was overwhelmingly kind, innocent, angelic. He was entirely breathtaking.

At first, his perfection had been intimidating for TJ, had almost scared him. Over time, he had realized that the answer was in the fact that he got nervous around Cyrus, that his palms became sweaty, that his cheeks got pink, that he couldn’t make eye contact with the boy without blushing, but at the same time, he could never bring himself to look away. And it was anxiety-inducing as hell. 

Now, after such a long time of being within the realm of people closest to the brunette, TJ had learned to simply appreciate his angelic looks, to look beyond them instead of finding them to be ferociously intimidating. As in love as he was with the features of his boyfriend, he somehow found himself immensely farther gone for Cyrus’ personality. 

The boy was kinder than anyone he had ever met. He was helpful, so understanding. He could look into TJ’s green eyes and see everything, see every problem, every fear. He was the first person who ever actually 𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘥 with TJ. From the first day, he had set aside every difference, had just ached to understand. And, somehow, by the end of those few moments, TJ knew that somehow, he got it. 

What was even better, was that he never forced TJ to tell him anything. He never pried, never nagged, never got upset when the athlete wasn’t ready to talk. He just sat with TJ, held his hand until he was ready. He was so sweet about everything, just always prepared to listen. 

He was the one person who could make TJ feel smart. On the panicked study nights, the restless days before math tests, he would just be there, tell TJ that he could do it, that he was smart and strong and that everything would be alright, that he just had to step through the snow to get to the other side. 

When TJ got C’s, when he got B’s, when he got A’s, the brunette was forever proud of him. When he had an off day, or an off unit in his class, the younger boy was right there to hug him, right there to tell him he could still do it, tell him that this was one grade, and TJ was so much smarter than he gave himself credit for. 

Cyrus was everything.

𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙞 𝙬𝙖𝙨𝙣’𝙩 𝙩𝙧𝙮𝙞𝙣𝙜  
𝙩𝙤 𝙢𝙚𝙡𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙩 𝙤𝙛 𝙞𝙧𝙤𝙣  
𝙗𝙪𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙬𝙖𝙮 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙝𝙤𝙡𝙙 𝙢𝙚 𝙢𝙖𝙠𝙚𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙤𝙡𝙙 𝙢𝙚 𝙥𝙖𝙨𝙨 𝙖𝙬𝙖𝙮  
𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙞 𝙬𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙 𝙗𝙚 𝙡𝙮𝙞𝙣𝙜   
𝙞𝙛 𝙞 𝙨𝙖𝙞𝙙 𝙞 𝙬𝙖𝙨𝙣’𝙩 𝙨𝙘𝙖𝙧𝙚𝙙 𝙩𝙤 𝙛𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙖𝙜𝙖𝙞𝙣  
𝙗𝙪𝙩 𝙞𝙛 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙥𝙧𝙤𝙢𝙞𝙨𝙚 𝙢𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪’𝙡𝙡 𝙘𝙖𝙩𝙘𝙝 𝙢𝙚   
𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙞𝙩’𝙨 𝙤𝙠𝙖𝙮

By the time the brunette showed up, TJ had almost entirely given up on the idea that he would ever be truly loved. Suddenly, he felt wanted, he felt cared for, he felt unbelievably loved. To him, the crazy part was that it only took one person to change everything for him, that it only took one person to turn his world completely upside down. 

He started to feel like maybe, just maybe, the world was worth waking up to, if he could see the face of the reason he finally had hope. It was like a spark; a single boy lit his world on fire, set flames of hope and of determination across his once dark, numb mind, the orange and the red of a pure flame like a symphony of lights within him. The flame showed itself in his eyes to the people around him, warming him as if he had sat himself next to an open fireplace of hope and forgiveness.

For so long, he had kept an extinguisher somewhere in his mind, taking it out during emergencies. He was so scared, so controlled by the fear that if he let the fire remain bright inside his mind, it would burn him worse than any lighter could. The moment Cyrus’ spark flew across his mind, he found himself throwing the extinguisher from his grasp. 

Now, as he stared down at the boy he loved so overpoweringly much, the fire burned brighter than ever. He ran his thumb gently over their tangled hands, smiling gently at Cyrus as he felt the brunette squeeze his hand. 

He couldn’t help the words as they slipped out of his mouth. Somehow, though, he wasn’t scared to let them. 

“God, I’m so in love with you.”

The smile that exploded onto the smaller boy’s face was worth everything. It was a burst of light, brighter than the rising sun at its highest place in the sky. 

The whispered, “I’m in love with you, too,” was an explosion of sound, of color, of every one of TJ’s senses coming in at once around him, placing everything into perspective. 

It was days worth of hushed 𝘪 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶’𝘴 said into the darkness, it was the same three words said out loud when they got up the courage to say it to each other, instead of to the air of dark rooms in the middle of the night. It was the feeling of walking down the hall hand-in-hand when they decided they were ready. It was evenings in the warm summer air, laughing and joking with their friends as they cuddled up. It was 𝘪 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶, except it wasn’t, because it was so much more than that.

It was a promise. A promise that, for his entire life, TJ had been so damn scared to make. The soft brown of the younger boy’s doe eyes was all he needed, the eyes themselves already promising that it was okay to fall. And, he wasn’t afraid anymore. No matter how hard he fell, Cyrus would catch him. 

𝙤𝙝 𝙄 𝙝𝙖𝙩𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙄  
𝙨𝙥𝙚𝙣𝙙 𝙢𝙮 𝙙𝙖𝙮𝙨 𝙟𝙪𝙨𝙩 𝙬𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙞𝙢𝙚  
𝙙𝙖𝙮𝙙𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙢𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙞𝙡 𝙄 𝙨𝙚𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙖𝙜𝙖𝙞𝙣

TJ spent all his days with his boyfriend. On the days when they couldn’t see each other, the blonde’s thoughts were filled with Cyrus, the ticking clock in his brain counting down the seconds until he could see the boy. It was almost as if there was some curtain on the rest of his brain, all thoughts of anything but Cyrus falling into hiding, covering themselves behind the curtains. 

And yet, at the same time, it was as if his entire brain was on fire, as if all thoughts of everything he had never quite taken into consideration flooding through the door. He couldn’t describe it, couldn’t even pinpoint the smallest sensations as they passed. 

With the brunette, he felt smart, yet he felt dopey at the same time. He felt more excitement for the future, for the moments, than he had ever felt, yet he felt completely at peace in the same moments. He felt so overwhelmingly awake, yet dreamy in every moment he spent with the brunette. It made him crazy, so frustrated with Cyrus for the boy’s talent at making him feel that way. 

Needless to say, he never wanted to feel any other way. 

𝙞’𝙢 𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙪𝙨𝙚𝙙 𝙩𝙤 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨  
𝙤𝙝 𝙄 𝙪𝙨𝙚𝙙 𝙩𝙤 𝙗𝙚 𝙨𝙤 𝙪𝙨𝙚𝙙 𝙩𝙤 [𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙤𝙣𝙚] 𝙟𝙪𝙨𝙩 𝙪𝙨𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙢𝙚  
𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙩𝙤 𝙗𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙩𝙤 𝙢𝙚  
𝙛𝙚𝙚𝙡𝙨 𝙣𝙚𝙬 𝙩𝙤 𝙢𝙚

TJ had never had so much hope, so much trust in the people around him. Well, more in the one person always with him. He was so used to guys just talking to him for the status, for the ability to say, 𝘏𝘦𝘺, 𝘐’𝘮 𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘴 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘬𝘪𝘥 𝘪𝘯 𝘴𝘤𝘩𝘰𝘰𝘭. With Reed, it had never been true, loving friendship. It was always, 𝘭𝘦𝘵’𝘴 𝘨𝘰 𝘥𝘰 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘴𝘵𝘶𝘱𝘪𝘥 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘸𝘦’𝘳𝘦 𝘣𝘳𝘰𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵’𝘴 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘸𝘦 𝘥𝘰. If the athlete was honest, he had never felt truly cared about by his old friends. 

Girls only talked to him for the popularity, for the ability to get a chance with the captain of the “it” sport in their school. Usually, they were nice enough. But, TJ never felt that 𝘱𝘶𝘭𝘭. The one where he was supposed to feel a magnetism towards some girl, where he was supposed to 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 her. 

He felt it the moment he saw Cyrus Goodman. It was more than he expected to feel with anyone. It was the inability to be truly content without the brunette, it was the feeling of the room lighting up with the boy’s presence, the feeling of all the colors, the sounds, the sensations, exploding in TJ’s brain when he saw the boy smile. 

There were two eras that the jock could clearly distinguish in his mind: 𝐁𝐞𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐂𝐲𝐫𝐮𝐬 and 𝐀𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐂𝐲𝐫𝐮𝐬. Before was almost like being stuck. He was numb to the people around him, he was lost in the dark, scared of what he would find if he felt around to search for the door. 

Then, the boy opened it. It was in an instant, when TJ least expected himself to be okay. Cyrus was his hope, and all the hope walked in within the blink of an eye. Suddenly, the blonde found himself thinking, 𝘰𝘩. 𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘳𝘦. 𝘐’𝘮 𝘨𝘰𝘯𝘯𝘢 𝘣𝘦 𝘰𝘬𝘢𝘺.

'𝙘𝙖𝙪𝙨𝙚 𝙄 𝙪𝙨𝙪𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮 𝙘𝙝𝙚𝙚𝙧 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙗𝙖𝙙 𝙨𝙞𝙙𝙚  
𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙪𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙧 𝙖 𝙗𝙖𝙙 𝙨𝙞𝙜𝙣  
𝙨𝙤 𝙞𝙩 𝙢𝙖𝙠𝙚𝙨 𝙢𝙚 𝙢𝙖𝙙 𝙄’𝙢  
𝙛𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙖𝙜𝙖𝙞𝙣  
𝙛𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙖𝙜𝙖𝙞𝙣

TJ was always on the bad side, trying to find a place to hide from the pain and the hurt. After a while, he became numb to the things that the people around him did, became numb to everything. He was afraid of venturing out to find where he really belonged, afraid of finding someone who could bring those feelings back. He was afraid of getting hurt. 

He “believed” in things he didn’t believe in, said things he didn’t wanna say, laughed at things he didn’t find funny. The mean persona he placed in front of him hid everything he was scared of showing. He pushed away the people that he wanted to stay, almost as if they were only there to hurt him in the first place. 

He couldn’t bring himself to push when it came to Cyrus Goodman. 

When he thought of everything that had brought him to this moment, everything that had shoved him to this place, he found himself at peace. He had been a jerk, he had been scary, but he had also been scared. 

Cyrus understood that. After so much time spent being terrified, he was finally free. After so much time spent being terrified, he was finally free. He was happy, sitting on this pier, watching this beautiful mess of colors seep into the sky, the love of his life resting against him. As he stared at Cyrus, the boy's eyes like honey, he felt truly alive. Finally, he understood why he was no longer afraid of falling.

Looking at the young brunette, he knew; he already fell. 

And Cyrus already caught him. 

𝙗𝙖𝙗𝙮, 𝙞’𝙢 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧𝙨.

**Author's Note:**

> hi thanks for reading!!! leave a kudo & comment :)) i love my boys


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